Memento

2012 Mantras.

2012-01-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

Source: witanddelight.tumblr.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: fromupnorth.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: piccsy.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Well, maybe a few things if they're really pretty...

"We used the stick."

2011-12-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

Source: XShot.com

Ever since my sister and I saw Val's awesome XShot camera extender, we've been lemming for one because it let's you take group pictures without leaving someone out of the group picture. You just screw on the camera to the tip of the XShot, set your 10 sec. timer, extender the baby, and smile. Easy peasy pictures, right? And, bonus! You look super dorky and touristy, but whatever because everyone's in the group! Coolest thing ever, right?!

No. The brother-in-law felt less of the cool and more of the dorky and touristy, unfortunately, so Min never got one. Dun dun DUN...big sister to the rescue, and I got them one in time for their NYE trip. While my sister gleefully ripped the packing off the XShot with a near maniacal gleam in her eye, Brandon was less enthused. (By the way, when they opened their joint Christmas present, my mom had a hard time grasping the context of the extender and thought it a gift of the the disciplinary sexual variety. File that under "Cheese and rice, I never want to hear that out of my mom's mouth ever again.")

Fast forward five days. Min just sent me this text with Brandon's phone: "we used the stick and now Brandon loves it."

Naturally, I sent this back:

I mean, really. Don't you know anything about me?

Ain't that some shit.

2011-12-28T16:10:00.001-08:00

Good God Almighty, if this had been around about four years ago I would have. tore. shit. up.

This kid Jhameel and I are in some serious business right now.

To waiting.

2011-11-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

Source: heartofsunshine.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Jim: I just wanna say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight. And, I want to especially thank those of you who have travelled from far away to be here with us tonight. Especially the Florida cousins, who obviously can't take a hint. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl, who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, which was just to... wait. Don't get me wrong, I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family, that I do know how to make a photocopy. Didn't need your help that many times. And, uh, do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive stick?

Pam: Like a year!

Jim: I've been driving stick since high school, so... For a really long time that's all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And, a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl I work with but I think, even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife.

Troy and Abed.

2011-09-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

To twentysix.

2011-09-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Ten things that makes me terribly happy.

2011-09-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ten things that makes me terribly happy, inspired by Rockstar Diaries:

1. Rough housing with my neighbor's bulldog puppies
2. My sister's hilarious blog post on her first day of subbing.
3. When a stranger repins my favorite things on Pinterest

Source: mayanrocks.com via Debbie on Pinterest

4. Nightly hand-in-hand walks around town
5. Trying new things with great friends (like hydrobiking!)

6. Doodling again
7. Daydreaming about telling off an impossibly obnoxious coworker and walking away like a boss
8. News of friends' engagements (especially Hannah's!)
9. Getting the last five minutes of pre-workday snuggling in
10. Not having to think too hard about which little things make me happy

First world problems.

2011-09-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Dance has been a consistent part of my life from middle school to the end of my college years so I never felt the need to "work out," which is in quotes because my definition of "working out" is going through the circuit training machines real fast so I can take a 30 minute shower in the ~~naked~~ locker room. I consider the abhorrent water usage as part of my $20/year membership fee.

However, it seems that I'm at the age when my slowing metabolism is a sad, anemic truth. Exponentially compounded by a fat cat lifestyle in Surbubia, CA, where my mom folds my laundry and my grandma cooks dinner nearly night, my somewhat adorable "pooch" is now more of a "pouch where bad snack choices simmer and die."

As a result, I've resolved to hit the gym this summer but I have yet to go in the last, mm, oh, about 30 months or so. I tried to motivate myself by shopping for the perfect pair of gym shorts (which, I'm convinced, does not exist without some excruciating semblance to adult diapers). I proudly held up an albeit all-too-pink Nike drawstring bag for K to see, to which he wrinkled his nose and said "I think you shop for gym accessories more often that you actually go to the gym." Umm, yeah, excuse me, but I gotta look cute when trolling for my next boyfriend.

That night, I finally came to the realization why I'm resisting going to the gym: I avoid the gym because I don't know what to do with my bangs.

First world problems, right? In addition to lacking pink gym accessories, and, ya know, the pain, I don't know what to do with my bangs. I hate when it gets sweaty because they do that horrid separating thing I hate. (Anyone else? No? Just me? Okay...) On the other hand, I have a 5head that is only ameliorated with full, sweep-y bangs.

Btw, 5head: adj. a forehead that is unusually large/long, and therefore surpasses the regular "fore" (pun for "four") to a "five." Famous 5heads: Rihanna, Tyra Banks, Christina Ricci, Luke Perry. Check out this TMZ gallery for more slopey 5head goodness.

One of these days, I'll hit the gym like the good ol' times. But for now, brb while I load up my mp3 player with gym-worthy songs. For, you know, when I "work out."

Hey there, Bay Area.

2011-09-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

Things to look forward to this long, jam packed weekend in the BAY.

The Exploratorium, source: planetware.com

Lobster rolls from Woodhouse Fish Company, source: randommealoftheday.blogspot.com

Bi-Rite Creamery, source: Yelp.com

The California Academy of Science (the Living Roof), source: calacademy.org

The California Academy of Science (inside), source: theepochtimes.com

Blue & Gold Fleet Bay cruise, source: blueandgoldfleet.com

Ghirardelli Sq., source: noshameadventures.com

Mushrooms, Onions, Mozzarella Cheese, Montalban Cheese, Arugula in French Vinaigrette pizza, source: yelp.com

UC Berkeley (Sather Gate), source: hogue.com

Telegraph Ave., source: pictureninja.com

We're basically going to eat the entire Bay Area.

Hannah is engaged!

2011-08-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

I guess growing old(er) isn't so horrible when we have amazing things to look forward to, like one of my oldest friends' beautiful and sweet, sweet, sweet engagement! A little quirky, a lot sweet, and 100% Hannah all the time, Hannah is a lifelong buddy, through and through. We danced on our high school dance team together and were drawn to each others' biting sarcasm (and, obviously, indubitable charms).

One of my absolute favorite things about Hannah is her unwavering loyalty to not just her friends & family, but her passions. While the rest of us (some begrudgingly) went into the conventional work force, she followed her dreams of becoming a wedding photographer.

And, a damn talented one at that. Hannah eventually followed her dreams all the way up to San Francisco, where she busts her ass to be the best photographer, daughter, friend, mother of two Jindo fur babies, fancy cook, and (now) fiance she can be.

You can read about her engagement HERE, but below are some of my favorite parts:

"Tony treated me to some of my favorite things. An hour long couple’s massage, a massive lunch of TACOS (my favorite food!), and then finally took me up on a hike to this gorgeous view of the lake.

"...he brought out a scrapbook called “The Adventures of Tony and Hannah” that he had been spending months putting together. It chronicles our whole journey from our very first date when we watched the worst movie in existence, The Legend of Zorro (the movie had a horse running on top of a moving train. I mean, really) and all the places we’d gone, the things we’ve done, the food we’ve eaten.

"That’s when Tony brought out the treasure box...that he had spent so long looking for because he knew it would be perfect for me. And inside was the most stunningly gorgeous ring.

"We were crying and laughing and I nodded my answer yes. I’m so grateful that we were able to have that amazing moment to ourselves. Almost as soon as we were done wiping away the tears, these two older ladies came hiking up the hill, saw us, and offered to take our photo. What great timing!"

A gorgeous story for a gorgeous couple. Hannah, I'm crazy for you (if you can't tell) and am so excited to see you enter the next chapter of your life with a true partner who loves&adores you for being a little quirky, a lot sweet, and 100% Hannah all the time.

"Our house is going to be a mishmash of different styles...

2011-08-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

...but that's ok with me."

Prints for every room

Source: printshop.urbanoutfitters.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: coketalk.tumblr.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: 20x200.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Elements of color

Source: sherlonkahkai.tumblr.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: ashleyannphotography.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: smg.photobucket.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: designspongeonline.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Airy and light-filled

Source: littlebitsoflovely.blogspot.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: refinery29.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: youaremyfave.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Unxpected surprises

Source: saraicat.tumblr.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: decorpad.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: decorology.blogspot.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: houzz.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Last Minutes with Oden

2011-08-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

I've watched this video at least three times since I discovered it on goodness-whose-blog two years ago, and I cry every single time. This resonates so deeply, I can't even explain. Surely, one of life's greatest injustices is the laughable extent of life dogs are given in this world.

Summer list, redux.

2011-08-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

Summer (& beyond) to-do list, an update:

1. Old Town Pasadena Restaurant Week, June 1 - 8, 2011
forgone in favor of ice cream and TV at home

2. Birthday BBQ at dear Hannah's
No picture with the birthday girl (really?!) so I'll post a picture of her birthday breakfast instead. Happy belated, Hannah! I always and forever will adore your endearing wit, insatiable hunger to learn & absorb, and unfaltering loyalty to close friends. I love you so, and am soo glad to see SF through your eyes in September!

3. San Diego Google Adwords training seminar & minor detour to ~~La Jolla~~ Balboa Park, June 19 - 21, 2011

4. Global Soul with Rickey Minor, Stevie Wonder, and Friends (Janelle Monae!), July 24, 2011
Janelle Monae was a pint-sized tornado on the Hollywood Bowl stage, while Grace Potter rocked the bejesus out of her white dress. (My favorite Janelle Monae and Grace Potter songs, here and here.)

5. Sister comes back home for a bridal shower and her 23rd (wtf, already?) birthday, late July

Ahahaha, happy 23rd birthday, sister :D

6. "Art in the Streets" exhibit at MOCA (followed by dinner&dessert with Youny and Cam)

7. Miranda July | Eleven Heavy Things exhibit at MOCA Pacific Design Center

Pictures to come!

Things in store for us:
- Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA, May 29 – October 31, 2011
- 26th (wtfff?) birthday trip to SF and East Bay, ~~early October~~ Labor Day Weekend
- Possible and very exciting relocation of sorts?

Can't buy me love.

2011-07-31T12:52:00.001-07:00

Things I like about myself and their evil twin counterparts.

2011-07-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

1. I am largely independent

save for lacking the basic instinct to survive. Should probably get on it.

2. I have incredibly smart friends

and my jealousy of their hard-earned success rears its ugly head more times than not.

3. I'm ambitious

but not very diligent with following through.

4. I've never felt the need to hem the length of my pants

but I still need to come to terms with the width.

5. I love dogs

more than I love humans.

6. I have a sailor mouth

which is in fair need of a finely toothed filter.

7. I have great, glistening hair

and that is all.

George, some kinda muppet.

2011-07-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

As if I couldn't love this man enough.

On the regular.

2011-06-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Valerie says: i bought you a drink
you can kenny can share
its HUGE

Debbie says: aahhhhh
mm take it for your dad or youself then

Valerie says: booOo
its too big

Debbie says: thats what she said

Valerie says: HAHAHAH

We're in our mid-twenties and we DGAF.

Obsessed.

2011-06-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

I've joined. I've pinned. I've become obsessed. And it's mothereffin' glorious.

For the home

Source: pinterest.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: ashleyannphotography.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Debbie on Pinterest

To have and to hold:

Source: google.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: kmdflorist.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: 100layercake.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Styles to try

Source: tumblr.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: calypso-celle.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: cupcakesandcashmere.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Other tasty morsels

Source: etsy.com via Debbie on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Debbie on Pinterest

I spend an inordinate amount of time pinning things, as K can attest. Our normal weekend mornings consists of me pinning doodads on the bed, and him reading Reddit or ESPN, or both. The poor kid never knew what hit him.

Valerie, Hannah, and Sister know what I'm talking about. Speaking of which, SISTER WHY AREN'T YOU FOLLOWING MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST MY BOARDS ARE FLIPPIN' AWESOME.

Cool kids.

2011-05-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Life has been really sweet lately and it's largely his fault, though I don't think he'll mind me blaming him very much. It's one of the best things about him.

Summer (& beyond) to-do list:

Old Town Pasadena Restaurant Week, June 1 - 8, 2011
"Art in the Streets" exhibit at MOCA, now until August 8, 2011
San Diego Google Adwords training seminar & minor detour to La Jolla, June 19 - 21, 2011
Global Soul with Rickey Minor, Stevie Wonder, and Friends (Janelle Monae!), July 24, 2011
Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA, May 29 – October 31, 2011
Sister comes back home for a bridal shower and her 23rd (wtf, already?) birthday, late July
Birthday BBQ at dear Hannah's
26th (wtfff?) birthday trip to SF and East Bay, early October

I'm so excited! Like, Jessie Spano excited! (She's so excited. She's so scared.)

Touché, First Lady.

2011-05-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

*Apparently, this is a relatively well-circulated (and false) anecdote about every modern presidency, and not really from Michelle Obama. In retrospect, though, there's a damn good reason why it's so well circulated, no?

Why cute is not forever.

The one where we read the same young adult fiction in different states.

2011-04-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

me: my student lent me percy jackson the book and its really good
and i have no problem admitting it

Source: minwook12.wordpress.com

Min: no it isn't
i'm reading it RIGHT NOW
this is weird

We have unwanted telepathy. Source: wired.com

me: ME TOO
what chapter are you on

Min: lol, i think i have one more chapter to go
the movie was tons better

Source: localmovielistings.net

me: shut up, hater
the guy in the movie was pretty cute though, even if he is like 17

Heeyyy. Source: sugar0rush.wordpress.com

Min: he was in jack and bobby, the show i was telling you about

me: 17 is legal in some states
oh right

He's like 20 now. Source: wikiality.wikia.com

Min: lol
i don't like the book

me: hater

Source: starcasm.net

Min: whatever. doesn't mean i'm not going to read the second one

I KNEW IT.

Hardcore motherfuckers on fire.

2011-03-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

From one of my favorite advice columns of all time, Dear Coke Talk. There should be a Being a Productive and Worthwhile Human handbook, and this should be the ending chapter, right before the chapter titled "Toilet Paper Go Over, Not Under."

I’m trying a long-distance relationship for the first time. I really care about the girl, but I have always had a hard time keeping it in my pants. I’ve never really cheated - but in this instance I feel like it might eventually happen. Got any advice?

...A long distance relationship isn’t something you casually try for the first time like Thai food or anal sex. A long distance relationship is something you do because you absolutely motherfuckingly have to, and it’s bittersweet and painful and unbearable and you can’t live without it, which I suppose is still pretty much like Thai food or anal sex, but you get my point.

If all you can say is, “I really care about the girl,” that isn’t even close to enough. You better love that crazy bitch with every last ounce of douche you’ve got coursing through your veins. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up to fail.

And what’s all this about eventually cheating? Quit planning to fuck up. Fidelity isn’t inversely proportional to distance, asshole. There are no teen sex comedy loopholes in real life.

Feel free to work out an open arrangement, but if you decide to go traditional, you better have the requisite integrity. Keep it in your motherfucking pants, or be honest about the fact that you can’t. It’s that simple.

I just spent a solid, passionate year loving someone across hundreds of miles of pacific coast highway. It was the loneliest year of my life, punctuated by the most blissed-out orgiastic episodes of heroin-grade happiness I’ve ever known.

It’s an unnatural thing to maintain burning desire at a distance. You’ve gotta be an emotional athlete to handle the highs and lows. It requires a heart that’s pure and strong, and brother, I don’t think you’re in shape for it.

I’d wish you good luck, but it’d be wasted on your weak-ass shit. Long distance is for hardcore motherfuckers on fire.

You ain’t ready.

Source: "On Trying Long Distance."

31 in...whenever I feel like, okay?!

2011-02-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I failed my little self-experiment. However, I can safely (and very happily, natch) say that the past month has been a something of a revelation. I went to new places, had small, personal victories, and ate a lot. Like, seriously, a lot.

Hell the eff yeah, we did. Source: Yelp

While I didn't accomplish all that I set out to do, I actually want to go out and have experiences now. Not just "do" things and go through the strokes because I'm supposed to, but have real, visceral, good-God-I'm-having-a-shit-ton-of-fun experiences.

Goes to show that good things come to those who wait - and aren't expecting it. That, and Asian metabolisms are marvels of wonder.

Three triumphant cheers to the following mantras:

1. For the hell of it.

2. Why not?

3. Because I can.

*Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list. (Updated constantly - for the hell of it.)

Don't be jealous...

2011-01-31T18:20:00.000-08:00

...of my crazy good skating skills.

Skating at Santa Monica ICE Outdoor Rink

2011-01-31T18:13:00.000-08:00

'twas freezing but we made it! The rink is opened until February 15, 2011, so take your sweethearts! Pictures taken by sister, because she fell and wouldn't go back on the ice again.

*Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Sweet disposition.

2011-01-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

Love love love love love. LOVE.

2011 better bring it because it's going to be hard topping 12/31/10.

On a side note, things to look forward to in the next three months:

Finishing my "31 in 31" list, though it ought to be renamed "31 in I-don't-know-when-so-stfu."
Annenberg Space for Photography
DineLA
NSU OPs
Austin, TX

In Which Bella Reenacts Arguably the Worst Movie of 2005

2011-01-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

2005 was a fairly decent year. Bush is sworn in for his second term as president: boo. The Pats won their second consecutive Super Bowl title: yay for New Englanders, I 'spose. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire earned its rightful spot as the highest grossing film of the year (hell to the yes), and the world gets it's first real sneak peek at who would eventually become Edward the Glittery. (when will it be fucking over, for crying out loud?). Million Dollar Baby won Best Picture at the Oscars. You know what DIDN'T win for Best Picture/Director/Actor/Actress/Scrip in 2005? Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, mostly because of painfully embarrassing scenes like this:

In any case, all's well that ends well, because Natalie Portman is probably going to win 3,264 awards for The Black Swan and other awesomeness, like so:

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Things I think about on a near daily basis.

2011-01-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

1. I know idiots in high places...and there's no reason why I shouldn't be one of them.
2. Those first three seconds after I step out of a hot shower almost makes the hot shower not worth it.
3. Why don't men have to shave under their arms?
4. I'm going to wear color today!
5. ...but black goes with everything.
6. How do I get my makeup to stop smudging so I don't look like Taylor Momsen, circa 2010?
7. It's the point of the day when I feel like curling up in front of my TV.
8. I really want need these laceupboots/leatherpants/sequinedtop/seethroughblouse/wool&cashmerecoat
9. How many times can I wear ______ in a week before people catch on?
10. If my co-worker kisses my boss' ass any more, he's going to start coming out of my boss' throat.

And not in the cute Charlize Theron way. Source: 7tattoo.wordpress.com

Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky tacky.

2010-12-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

I don't know what sick sunovabitch started marketing gingerbread houses as fun and games, but believe you me, these suckers were hard to construct! Click images to enlarge.

Me: Wtf, these can't possibly be made for kids.

Sister: This is too hard!

Me: (silently) That's what she said.

Reality versus Expectations. Reality loses every. single. time.

Done, son! This took two hours. Go ahead and applaud; we'll wait.

Btw, the teepee looking thing didn't make it through sister's vigorous decorating processes,

a.k.a. she hulksmashed it and threw it away.

Bella was decidedly unamused the whole time, probably because we wouldn't let her eat our masterpieces.

And, we make her wear pink bibs.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Dance costumes: a photographic journey.

2010-12-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I lost my old dance costumes from high school, but thank goodness for the advent and subsequent proliferation of digital cameras, Facebook, and UCLA NSU Modern.

Mirrors set at Culture Night 2007

Asylum Set at Culture Night 2007

Work it out, Gino!

Not a costume, but it might as well have been.
This outfit probably kick started my affinity with sequins. NSU Banquet 2007

Egyptian Set at Culture Night 2008

One of my all time favorite pictures. Post 80s set at Culture Night 2008

Front page on the Daily Bruin! (80's set, 2008)

I'm to the far right...
but I know you're looking at his silver package so I'll wait. 80's set, 2008

Battle Royale, 2008

SASS.

I love this picture. Little Tokyo Remix 2008

Those were some amazing years ♥

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

It still fits?

2010-12-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

So, #23 on my "31 in 31" list is "photographically document myself wearing my old dance outfits from middle/high school and college." Unfortunately, I've rather inconveniently lost my high school dance costumes in the Great Migration to Super Suburbia 2010, to my deepest dismay, and can't photodocument as much as I would like. (I'll sorta make up for this later, promise.) I did, however, find my old cheer uniform from 1999-2000. I was probably 100lbs soaking wet back then, and I didn't really know what I was expecting when I slipped it back on. Weirdly, everything fit, but none of it fit.

The top part (shell) used to reach down to my hipbones but it's since snuck up to my waistline. The other thing that "shrunk" was the goram hemline of the fracking skirt. It used to go down to about mid-thigh, but now the pleats rest rather curiously atop my butt. The whole shebang probably goes down to about an inch below my lady cookie -- and that's sugarcoating it, mister.

Picture behind the jump, but lemme just tell you this picture elicits conflicting feelings for me. On one hand, I have the "Head High School Cheerleader Who's Dating the Quarterback" thing down pat because of the shorter-than-usual length. On the other, my chest as not grown since I was 12, fml. Also, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to be a cheerleader after you turn 23.

Unless it's Halloween. Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. Game on for 2011.

Excuse my "trolling for sugar daddies" face. I feel a tad like Miley Cyrus.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Hey, girl.

2010-12-27T12:56:00.001-08:00

You know how I do.

20 lessons my mom taught me - part 2.

2010-12-27T12:07:00.000-08:00

Click to see part 1 here.

11. Never estimate the power of a (few) well-placed word(s). Very recently, we had a heart-to-heart about the state of my life and she said this: "Dun make your life suck, okay?" I didn't even know she knew what "suck" meant. Moms say the darndest things.

Facebook is awesome, and so are mothers.

12. Weird people come out at midnight. I don't know why, but my mom has deigned midnight as thee time when people just turn into maniacal, drug-dealing werewolves or Cinderellas on crack. Not 11:59 pm. Not 12:01 am. Exactly midnight. Though she's largely wrong, I always keep this in mind when I know I'm going to be out later than midnight and give her a call. (Refer to #8 of part 1.)

13. One can nary do wrong with classic leading men. George Clooney, Richard Gere, and Pierce Brosnan. Like fine wine with strong jaws, they are. Other considerations include Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, and Harrison Ford.

14. How to make corn soup. Empty a can of cream of mushroom into a pot and add equal part water. Heat until it boils. Slowly add in two whipped eggs. Add a can of sweet corn and stir. A little salt & pepper and a selective pinch o' Handashi, and voila! Delicious corn soup for those cold nights when only soup, ~~blankets~~ a Snuggie (thanks, Donson!), and hilariously bad movies will do. Here's looking at you, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra.

15. Don't interrupt people when they're talking. This is one of my very first memories. She didn't say it particularly harshly, and I'll never know why I remember it so explicitly, but it's one of the best lessons I've ever received from her. Since then, I've learned that the people you want to listen to are worth waiting for, and the people you don't will just as soon hang themselves with their words sooner or later. On the flip side, my thoughts and opinions are just as valuable and important as those of others, and there's nothing wrong or rude with asking someone (nicely) to wait their turn.

16. You don't have to be nice to be cordial. What college doesn't prepare you for is that the hardest thing about being a young professional is knowing how to implicitly tell someone to go fuck themselves via email. However, my mom has always harped on manners, no matter what someone says or does to me, and she has been right about 80% of the time: most people don't know how to react when someone smiles in the face of obnoxious behavior because they assume I'm going to be just as obnoxious back. Kill them with kindness because, at the end of the day, you're walking away a better person. A terse, die-bitch-die! smile is still a smile.

17. Nagging is okay if it's out of love. Most of the time.

18. Take full advantage of awesome return policies. Target has an addictive 90-day policy that I abuse regularly (is it about time I get a Target card?). Cam knows of my infamous "buyer's remorse" and comes to expect it whenever I go out for some retail therapy (which, btdubs, is totally and thoroughly 100% LEGIT). Nordstrom's return policy has NO time limit and they pretty much take anything back, even things that weren't purchased from them. Talk about customer service, no?

*Tangent: If you ever want to see rabid 20-something yo. women lay complete and utter waste to an entire store, visit Urban Outfitters for their 50% off sale items event. It was a massacre. Those hipsters never stood a chance.

19. Never get into a stranger's car. Speaking of memories from my childhood, I can vividly recall walking home alone when I was six y.o. (wtf, ma?) when someone pulled up in a car next to me and asked me if I wanted to get in. I can be a ripped-from-the-headlines Law & Order: SVU/Criminal Minds episode right now.

80% of the reasons why I watch Criminal Minds. Source: eruthros.dreamwidth.org

20. Women are crazy. Men are stupid. Women are crazy because men are stupid. Betcho bottom dollar on it, doll.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Donald Glova Lovahs.

2010-12-22T11:18:00.000-08:00

Redux!

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Etsy: my new addiction.

2010-12-21T14:04:00.001-08:00

Surprise, sister! For Min and Brandon's Christmas present (their first as a married couple), I got them something their house sorely needs: awesome posters. Min has been talking about these prints she wanted for. ever. While I was happy to get them for her, I was wary of purchasing from Etsy because it involved PayPal. However, Amie Barber from The Barber Shop (get it?!) was incredibly amazing and sweet in helping me get the prints Min wanted. Not only did they arrive on time, but they were of very high quality and obviously wrapped with love & care in eco-friendly materials. As if it couldn't be any better, Amie was thoughtful enough to handwrite a personalized note after I let her know this order was my first Etsy purchase ever. Best purchase I have ever made online...and I make a lot of orders online lemmetellya.

She like to keep the wrapping paper intact, for whatever reason. Yeah, I don't get it either.

I made it extra hard to open because I'm an ~~sadistic~~ awesome older sister. Older. By three years.

The reveal!

Live What You Love print from The Barber Shop (Etsy)

Super crazy excited for Whale Love watercolor print from The Barber Shop (Etsy)

Glad you're home, sister, and thanks for leaving your deranged, OCD and separation anxiety afflicted dog in my house.
She loves not sleeping at all!

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Attack of the Bellatron Bumblebee!

2010-12-21T14:04:00.000-08:00

Bzz!

Santa, baby.

2010-12-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

Love you, work wife!

My first legitimate sushi meal - a haiku.

2010-12-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

Sushi is très gross

Feels like gnawing a sea slug

Crazy Japanese

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

It's the magical, mystery kind.

2010-12-16T10:24:00.001-08:00

20 lessons my mom taught me - part 1.

2010-12-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

I couldn't come up with 20 at a time, so let's pretend I split #31 in half on purpose.

1. Childhood trauma lasts forever. When I was little, she told me I couldn’t point at the moon or else the lady in the moon will cut my ears off. CUT. MY. EAR. OFF. Who the hell says that to an eight year old? She also told me for every grain of rice I leave in my bowl, there will be a pockmark on my future husband’s face. I used to be terrified of this because I was a vain little snotfaced 10 y.o. and TO THIS DAY, I can’t leave food in a restaurant.

2. Outlets are important. She exercises about three times a week and it lets her de-stress before she gets all >:|

3. There ain’t no shame in asking. I moved to CA when I was seven y.o. and was painfully shy because I didn’t speak the language. My mom used to force me to ask for take-out boxes, water, or utensils from waiters at restaurants. Though I hated when she did that, it really did help build my language skills and brought me out of my shell a little bit. It’s backfired a bit for her; sometimes I can’t seem to stop asking my waiters non sequiturs. Case in point, “Can I get the chicken parmesan and…what color nail polish is that?” My mom’s reaction gets all 0.o, like she wishes she can take it all back.

4. Women are rubber bands. We are resilient and binding. Try making us snap and see wtf happens.

5. It’s worth splurging on stellar products that really work. I used to think she was nuts to spend a ridiculous amount of money on lotions and creams and assorted other potions, but the woman looks crazy good for 50-something so she’s got to be doing something right. Also, sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen.

6. Family matters. I grew up watching my mom sacrifice countless opportunities for her family and it makes me wonder if I would be willing and able to do the same if the situation ever arose. Most of the time, I convince myself that I would, but I’m never more than about 80% certain because I’ve never known what it means to be so selfless.

7. An A-is not an A. Hell, an A is not an A. It’s only natural for parents to push – or shove, even – their children to excel, and my mom was no exception. If anything, she’s the rule. It seemed obsessive and extreme as a kid, but now that I’m an (kinda) adult, the merits of continual self-improvement are innumerable. While I would have liked to play with the other kids instead of doing homework she made up for me on the spot (yeah, she really did), I think it paid off in the end.

Source: max-awesome.com

8. Chinese guilt is fucking real and is as strong as any industrial use vice clamp. Ask any one of us.

9. First impressions are important. Don’t weakly shake with your fingers like a prissy bitch expecting to be kissed on the back of the hand (my words, not hers). Introduce yourself clearly with firm eye contact, smile like you mean it, and shake with your forearm. Now that I hire my own staff, I think about this every. single. time. someone walks in for an interview. It’s the difference between an A and an A+.

10. Genius means nothing if you’re an asshole. I actually learned this indirectly from my mom as she’s (unfortunately) a vehement believer in quite the opposite. I really genuinely feel intelligence is wasted if you’re the kind of douche that uses “epicurean” at dinner and revel in the fact that you’re the only person at the table who knows what it means. Fuck you and your fancy shit; go look up what “prick” means, dickwad.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Donald Glover at the El Rey!

2010-12-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

To those of you who know me well, you know that my DVR is probably the only man I need in my life. There, I've said it and I feel no shame (but if I turn into that woman who married the Eiffel Tower, please sit me down and give me a most needed intervention). With that said, one of the permanent fixtures on my DVR is "Community." I didn't really give it a chance when it first came out, but now it's must-see TV for me for namely two reasons: Troy and Abed - and sometimes, Betty White.

Youny Gchats me late Thursday night and asked me to see Donald Glover (Troy) at the El Rey - coincidentally, on the same day Becky offered me free Kina Grannis tickets also at the El Rey - and obviously I said yes. Actually it was more like this:

Source: childishgambino.blogspot.com

Jessica: sooo gueesss what?
me: ?
Jessica: donald glover is performing at el rey theater on sunday!!
me: WHAA
Jessica: i love donald glover, i think he is so hot
me: ME TOO
Jessica: WANNA GO? ADD THIS TO YOUR LIST
me: DID YOU SEE HIM ON MY BLOG
Jessica: AHHH, I'M SO EXCITED
I LOVE DONALD GLOVER
me: lol
oh DAMN IT i just told a new student i'd go to her house on sunday but im going to call and reschedule
I DIDNT KNOW HE PERFORMS AND SHIET
im there, i'll cancel it
i hope he takes his shirt off for no reason
Jessica: omgggghhggg

Fangirldom aside, I swear we're usually classier than this. Youny is, anyway.

After traffic jams for me and late dance practices for Youny, we manage not only to get there on time but we also snagged some amazing standing space at stage right. He was like 5 ft away and I wish I rushed the stage and tackled him. What was that about class? Oh, right, just Youny.

First, he did a stand up comedy portion that was HILARIOUS. Apparently toddlers would cuss out their mothers if they had the ability to form words.

Then he had his rap segment. Donald (because we're on first name basis now) is amazingly well rounded and dedicated to every part of his show. Anyone can tell he's pouring his heart in just about every joke, line, and even beat and it's inspiring to see someone this young and with this much multifaceted, raw talent live. After this weekend, I think I'm going to have to make watching live performances a regular habit.

None of the videos I filmed were any good (my camera is self-destructing or mutinying, I can't tell), so I present you with a highlight reel of his show at FatBeats Los Angeles.

After a (really short) show, we left feeling a bit unsatisfied but, lo and behold, DANGER DOGS (#95 on my "100 things that make me happy" list). So, amazing show, check. Amazing hot dog, check. Home in bed by 1:30 am after a sold out show in Los Angeles, CHECK.

Youny and I plan on stalking him because he told everyone in lives in Downtown LA. That's not too big of an area to canvass on a weekly basis...is it?

Also, deep berry lipstick ftw.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Kina Grannis at the El Rey!

2010-12-12T14:05:00.000-08:00

Kina Grannis is one of those fantastically talented and undeniably down-to-earth people you have to see live to completely believe. Min's mother-in-law (hi, Becky!) generously emailed me a pair of tickets to see Kina at the El Rey and who better to traverse to LA with than (V for) Valerie? I ended up substituting this for donating blood on my "31 in 31" list because I've donated blood before (though I haven't in a while). I also took this time to knock out one-fifth of one of my 31 things to do, which was to wear lipstick. Bright fuchsia; go big or go home, folks!

We arrive to find free parking (in LA!). After standing in line for about 20 minutes, we were let in to the beautiful El Rey. It's a small but intimate venue, which was perfect for someone like Kina Grannis.

Finally there!

Cheesing in the El Rey

Bright fuchsia pink lipstick!

Her opening act was Imaginary Friend, who may consider stand-up comedy as a side job.

Not from the show on Friday night, but rather appropriate for this post.

After the pre-show, Kina came on the stage and cried at the level of love and support she had in the audience that night. I concur; moments like that deserves to be cried about and appreciated.

That's David Choi to the left, singing their duet "My Time With You," aka the happiest song ever written.

After an amazing set, Val and I were crazy hungry and dined at Denny's. She had the breakfast burrito with bottomless hot chocolate and I had the Western omelet.

Two guesses as to which cup was mine.

Thanks for a wonderful show and awesome date night, Kina!

Btw, guess who I saw at the El Rey...

And will be seeing AGAIN, live tonight?! I love him.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

100 things that make me happy - part 3.

2010-12-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

Click to see part one here.
Click to see part two here.

71. Watching an acoustic performance
72. Rescuing animals, even though it drives my grandma crazy
73. Receiving snail mail
74. Hardwood floors
75. The deli scene in "When Harry Met Sally"

76. The first open of a water bottle
77. New blog followers (hi guys!)
78. Memorabilia and souvenirs from traveling friends and family
79. Striped and polka-dotted...almost anything
80. When Wesley says "As you wish" to Buttercup in "The Princess Bride"

81. Pictures with balloons in them because they're always so happy
82. Snuggle Exhilarations Fabric Softener in Wild Orchid & Vanilla
83. Lovely hair bows
84. Getting a new date book and filling it in with birthdays and anniversaries
85. Haw flakes

I can finish a 10-pack in a single sitting. Source: guerrilla666

86. My grandma's chicken curry
87. Wrapping gifts because I'm really good at it
88. Managing to dress cute in the winter even though I'm wearing 3,417 layers
89. Bright pops of random color
90. This hilarious interview with Kristen Schaal and Letterman

91. Wandering aimlessly in Ikea
92. When a baby catches my gaze and I'm its whole world for three seconds
93. A really well-placed and appropriate cuss word
94. Sweet stories of how couples met
95. LA bacon-wrapped "danger dogs," topped with onions and cilantro

Just posting this made me crazy hungry. Source: Recipe Mama

96. Spontaneous movie nights with blankets and soup
97. Practical gifts I'll really put to use
98. The first bite of a Tiramisu dessert
99. Romantic comedies, even the bad ones
100. Realizing I have at least 100 things to be happy about on a daily basis. This makes me happier than I thought it would :)

Amen. Source: selfevidenthotdogs.com

Fin!

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

100 things that make me happy - part 2.

2010-12-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

Click to see part one here.

41. Folding my underwear while I watch TV
42. The day after my fever breaks
43. Walking around naked at home when I’m the only one there
44. Hearing a sports metaphor and actually understanding it
45. Gap’s holiday ads (images from JustJared)

46. My Mom is a Fob
47. The first two-thirds of Jersey Shore, season 2
48. My red pairs of shoes: Tretorn rain boots and TOMS
49. Singing along to Fantasmic at Disneyland because I know the words. To. Every. Song.
50. Joseph Gordon Levitt in just about anything.

51. Going through old Facebook pictures and recalling great memories
52. Sudden, though frustratingly infrequent, bursts of productivity
53. Unconventionally repurposing old things into new things
54. When one of my students show me their A on their latest test
55. Novelty gift items from Fred Flare

How adorable and kitschy is this? Source: Fred Flare

56. When I take a chance on Yelp reviews and it totally pulls through
57. Bite sized goodies because by the time someone’s caught on that I’m eating their food, it’s already gone, baby, gone
58. My awesome office stapler that staples. like, 25 pages at once
59. Polite children
60. Accents (my favorites are English, Australian, southern, and Scottish)

61. My DVR, aka only man I ever need in my life
62. Nelson the Waiter from Maxim Cafe - he's the best!
63. This Up! themed engagement shoot
64. When I play tug o’ war with Bella and I win
65. Strawberry donuts from Donut Man

Try the Tiger Tail, too! Source: Yelp

66. Organized symmetry
67. Planning vacations (see you in March, Austin, TX!)
68. My new Lasko digital ceramic heater from Target with a REMOTE - genius!
69. My knobby elbows
70. Artists' interpretations of Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin & Hobbes as Chewie and Han?
Genius! Sourc: Girl Gone Geek

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

(500) Days of Valerie.

2010-12-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

Most people are not blessed with Valerie. She:
1. gives fantastic pep talks.
2. is hilarious at work.
3. buys great presents and
4. is amazingly generous with the chocolate chips in her cookies.

She is also an avid supporter of weird experiences, which is great because one of the things on my "31 in 31" list is "having an Ikea moment," like so:

On Friday, we decided to go to Costco after work because it's what all the cool, young kids do on Friday nights. It was way too cold to eat outside with the other commoners so, being the smarties we are, we made a beeline for the office furniture section and ate our fabulous pizza and churro dinner there. Don't be jealous.

(Side note: #3 Wear headbands five times this month - one-fifth accomplished!)

Note the "Last Supper" paintings for sale in the background.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Happy 80th!

2010-12-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, grandma. You're a force to be reckoned with and I can only hope I become half the courageous, generous, and hilarious woman you are.

As part of Chinese culture, noodles represent longevity.

Delicious beef noodle soup!

Happy 80th!

100 things that make me happy - part 1.

2010-12-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

1. The way the air smells after the rain
2. When a puppy follows you for the first time
3. Grabbing a perfect, non-chipped chip from a bag of salt & pepper kettle chips
4. Crossing everything off my to-do list
5. Getting the exact toy I wanted from a vending machine

My Spiderman and Hulk figurines make me inexplicably happy.
Source: Comics Alliance

6. Reminiscing with someone I haven't seen in a really long time
7. Finding a really good song I can replay for months
8. The scene in Love Actually when Hugh Grant dances through his house
9. When my grandma makes something ridiculous but altogether endearing (She made her own Snuggie out of a fleece blanket that goes from her neck to her toes.)
10. Finding a really awesome internet meme

A little too close to home. Source: urlesque

11. Waiting for something to go on sale and then buying said thing

12. Forehead kisses

13. Rediscovering a song I used to love
14. When I hug someone who smells really good
15.Watching baby anythings walk for the first time because they look like little drunk men

16. Rereading the notes people wrote in my high school yearbooks
17. Running a business meeting and kicking ass
18. The moment right before I step onto a new roller coaster

19. Dissecting a Ferrero Rocher chocolate before eating it

20. Piping hot garlic balls fresh from the oven from C&O Trattoria in Marina del Rey, CA

Yes, it tastes as delicious as it looks. Source: Yelp

21. Denny’s bottomless hot chocolate
22. Sitting in a pile of freshly dried laundry on my bed
23. Accidental penises
24. Finding random money in my pockets
25. Listening to Britney Spears. Shut up, ok?

26. Listening to someone snort because s/he’s laughing so hard
27. Finishing any toiletry (lotions, creams, shampoos) because I have product ADD
28. Dancing. Just dancing.
29. Drinking hot chicken noodle soup on a cold night
30. Dirty jokes from Harry Potter

I'd like to get my basilisk in your chamber of secrets.
Source: Buzzfeed

31. When I Facebook-stalk someone and his/her wall and pictures are public. SCORE!
32. Changing from work clothes to sweatpants after the daily grind
33. The 10 minutes RIGHT before and after a dance performance because there's always so much electricity in the air
34. The kind of laughing that make you cry and your stomach hurt
35.Watching a great TED conference clip on YouTube

36. When Pandora plays great music all day without skipping songs
37. Watching my girlfriends publicly reject a douchey advance at a club or bar
38. Handwritten notes
39. City skylines
40. Loving a song after looking up its lyrics because I liked its melody

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

Self imposed soda ban - in progress.

2010-12-06T11:54:00.001-08:00

I've never been much of a soda drinker. I really have some if I get a free drink with my meal and the tap doesn't have Nestea Ice Tea. (Which, by the way, is made from the best stuff on Earth; sorry, Snapple.)

With that said, my self-imposed soda ban is making me crave it. Like, I'm itching to smuggle some into my daily tea. You know that video of those children who were told NOT to take a marshmallow from the plate in front of them and they look around to make sure they won't get caught before stuffing it into their little mouths. It's like that. Chubby bunny, anyone?

So far, so good. Kinda. Donson caught me swigging apple cider and questioned my dedication to my "31 in 31" list. I told him it's not soda if it doesn't have caffeine. Then he asked if that means I'm allowed to have Sprite or whatever because it has not caffeine and he's a life-ruiner. WHATEVER, DONSON. WHATEVER.

* Click here to see the rest of the "31 in 31" list.

'Arry Pottuh!

2010-09-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Min: brandon wants to go to harry potter land

me: OMG i heard butterbeer is reeeeaally good

Min: lol i also heard that it tastes like rootbeer
i told him that i didn't want to go with him b/c he would ruin it since he hated hp
but all of a sudden he loves it cause we watched all the movies again
he keeps calling me mudblood

me: point bellas tail at him and yell EXPELLIARMUSSSS

Min: LOL
expecto patronum!!

me: Immobulus!!!
Locomotor Mortis!!!

Min: hahaha
ok no more

WHY WHY WHY won't my family humor me. We could have waged a wizards' duel over gchat. How epic would that have been :(

One of these days.

2010-08-30T17:13:00.001-07:00

I'm going to stop sabotaging my life.

Yeah, I know, I don't believe it either.

Straight up redux. Kinda.

2010-08-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

V says:
what does jddma stand for?

D says:
ughhh something about J
i couldnt switch it out bc i'd lose the whole thing
so. yeah.
its like a bad tattoo

V says:
J douchbag dick mother ass

D says:
LOL

Straight up.

2010-08-11T17:18:00.001-07:00

After bitching about my life for what seems to be the 23,088,976,523rd time (no, really, I've kept count), someone dear to me sets me straight.

V says:
jfiowajrioewa
debbie i love you.. your life is awesome!
you have a job, you have family and friends that love you..
its all good
and your can go dance it out next week in vegas

Amen.
Or, whatever less sacrilegious term.

Really, really ridiculously good looking.

2010-07-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

I've got problems.

2010-07-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

I've got problems. Okay, that was redundant and perhaps annoyingly unoriginal, but it bears repeating. I've got problems I don't know how to solve. They've been nagging at me, like stray, errant strands of hair that tickle my bare back and I can never quite get a hold of them. Or like when I walk into a spiderweb at night (which happens more times than I'd like to admit) and I keep grabbing at my face to get it off. Even if I do, there's always that creepy feeling something is clinging to me and I can't do anything about it.

1. Mistaking attention for affection. After 20 odd years, I have yet to cleanly distinguish the two. Though they are not necessarily mutually exclusive, it'd be rather nice to know someone's being nice just to be nice, versus when he's being nice because he can see being nice to me for a long time coming.

2. Knowing when things have run their course. I hate relationship limbo. Or any kind of limbo, really, including the asinine party activity dressed up like an ice-breaker, when in reality everyone cheats a little and actually I'm really good at it. Whether I keep my stead for a little while longer or cut my losses, there's a price for either and both.

3. Doing what is good for me. I suppose this ties in with 1 and 2, but like most problems, it bears repeating (now).

Mine are better than yours.

2010-07-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

J says: Valerie, my little jujubee,

J says: and Kitty my little Subway sandwhich

K says: what

K says: why does she get jujubee and i get subway sandwich

V says: LOL subway sandwich LOL

J says: hahahaha

V says: MUAHAHA

J says: I'm going to put extra spinach on you K! Lay it down!
and V, I'm going to jet ski all over your ass!

V says: are you going to add chili?

K says: i don't know how i feel about this

J says: hahahahaha and add chili!
D get ON!

V says: ohh yes! the chili
and some hot sauce on top
umm umm

J says: You want hot sauce? You like that huh?!
hahaha

D says: this is the most ridiculous conversation ive ever been in and i love it

J says: ahahaha

D says: wtf is a jujubee

J says: I want to drill team your face!
hahahahaha

D says: LOL wtf

K says: i would like to have been a food with more sexual magnetism than a subway sandwich

V says: HAHAHAH

J says: you want a routine? ok then!
sorry K
you are not a subway sandwhich
you are a chili pepper

D says: what food has more sexual magnetism than a subway sandwich
thats 12 in of MEAT
what more do you want

J says: hahahahahahaha

V says: yes i was think chilli pepper TOOO!!

J says: MEAT BALLS! too

V says: LOL

K says: that was a pretty convincing argument

J says: ok meat ball sub with chili pepper

D says: i really want dessert

V says: sounds so good
i have cookies!

J says: Yeah baby I'm sure you've got cookies.

D says: HAHA

J says: And I'm gonna take a bite!
hahaha

D says: hahahaha you bite that cookie J

J says: You won't even need chocolate chips

V says: HAHA you can bite all day baby

D says: bite it good

J says: D, you want a bite too baby?
hahahahahaha

D says: lol hahahhaha
you guys are awesome

J says: hahahaha

D says: this is going in EVERYONES BLOGS

TGI(almost)F.

2010-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

Maternal Gchat Fail.

2010-05-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

me: mom mom mom
can you see this
im trying to talk to you online

[three minute interlude]

mom: ok
me: are you looking at the houses i emailed you
mom: yes
me: what do you think
mom: i just start for 3 houses
me: they look ok, right?
i think a lot of them are rent to own though
mom: yes, thank
i will let you know which one i like, how about you
me: mmm, they all look pretty decent to me
mom: ok, talk you later
me: why dont you want to talk to meeee
im bored
mom: it's very good tool for conversation. don't let your boss see you to this. go to work, ok?
me: haha ok, hes not here
but fiiine
i'll talk to you later
will you have dinner at home tonight?
mom: yes. do you want to see a house in walnut with me. the appointment at 6:30
me: yeah, i can meet you there
whats the address?
mom: 118 corta cresta dr. walnut, nearby lemon ave.
can you meet there
me: yeah, i'll try to get there around 645?
mom: ok, please let me know after work
me: ok, i'll call you when i leave
i think my boss is a butthead
min called me this morning and said brandon ripped his pants at walmart
but he wasnt wearing underwear
hahahahahaahaha

[two minutes go by]

mom: ok, go to work, bye

me: mom, he wasnt wearing underwear
isnt that funny

[a minute later]

ok, fine, back to work
call you later
<3

[still no response]

My mom refuses to humor me, in person or otherwise.

Hey, Soul Sister.

2010-05-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

So Work Wife and I share links pretty much all day at work to break up the the monotony of our lives. Usually the links are of pictures of hedgehogs, saucy blogs, or even a yellow submarine tea infuser. Today, we've decided to hate on every Bachelorette contestant for no reason. Well, I have no reason but she has the following complaints:

WW says:
did you see the bachelorette?
I missed it
Debbie says:
not into ali
WW says:
oh that's right
I'm kind eh… I want to see the dudes!
Debbie says:
http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelorette/bachelor-announcement
WW says:
NO NO NO!!!! WTF?!!!!!!
they all look like cousins from an Amish/German farm
and b/c of inbreeding, they all look mutated slightly
Debbie says:
HAHA
WW says:
i won't eat oreos and watch this crap
they all have messy eye brows
Debbie says:
lol
WW says:
this looks like a casting for Casper II, the late years
I can't even finish scrolling
they look like they are auditioning for a role of RN on Greys Anatomy
ugh.
but what do you think?
I wouldn't sit on ANY OF THEIR FACES!
Debbie says:
LOL
what
WW says:
except the one with long hair b/c he kinda reminds me of (he-who-shall-not-be-named)
hahahahahahaha

Btw, she's talking about the following guys:

The "Inbred German farmer":

The "Adam Lamber/Ricky Martin, a.k.a Adam Martin"

The "Fuzzy Mess":

Oh, my liiife.

Black Cab Sessions.

2010-05-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

All day, every day.

56yo.

2010-05-16T20:37:00.000-07:00

I forgot my dad's birthday this year.

On the surface, it's not so bad. I have a horrible memory to begin with and I haven't seen him in years. Deep down in my daddy's-girl heart, I've never forgotten his birthday before and it makes me wonder if he's ever forgotten about me. Or, if he feels blinding regret for leaving his wife and children while he philandered. Or, if I've punished him enough in my own special way. Or, if the only punishment is on me, like a bad joke someone tells a group but no one laughs, not even a polite smile. Yeah, feels kinda like that.

Most men have their ways of weaving in and out of my life. I just want someone to love with such ferocity and intensity that they either love me back or die trying to escape me. It's been harder than I thought it would be.

'Cause that's how we roll.

2010-05-14T13:48:00.001-07:00

Dear Future Intern.

2010-04-09T17:03:00.000-07:00

Your supervisor will be a horrific woman named Debbie Hsieh. She will randomly hurl insults in your direction, subject you to various degrees of physical abuse, and generally act as if you are worth less than the ground upon which she walks. By the time your internship is completed, you will know to instinctively cower in fear which she so much as sneezes. There was this one time she, in a pleasant voice, informed me that my shoe was untied. I knelt down to check on my laces, only to find that the knot was still intact. However, before I could return to a standing position, she let out a ghastly shriek, proceeded to kick me over, and walked away as if nothing happened. Why she would do this, I don't know. But take heed of this warning, future intern. Don't make the same mistake I did.

Sincerely,

Current Intern

Words to Live By.

2010-02-10T11:13:00.001-08:00

[ Stephane Massa-Bidal.]

I know I don't look it.

2010-02-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

But I will cut a bitch.

Save your "hubby" comments for those more deserving like, oh, I dunno, your current boyfriend? I don't care if it's a "inside joke thing." I care more about the fact that it should be my "inside joke thing."

I've worked too hard and invested too much. I have battlewounds, yaknow?

Just sayin'.

My god, we tried.

2009-12-23T15:51:00.001-08:00

Mahjong Rap.

2009-12-02T11:46:00.001-08:00

Big words speak little. Sometimes.

2009-11-24T11:38:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, I have remind myself that I am not, nor will I ever be, the Queen of the World. I hate to say it but my ego played a huge part in my formative years. All those years steeped in the GATE program has made me a magnanimous person. (See! There! Who the fuck uses "magnanimous" in blogs?)

Holla back girl.

2009-11-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

So apparently, I've been horribly remiss in 1) updating my own blog with insightful nuggets of wisdom, and 2) reading my friends' insightful nuggets of wisdom. As such, I've overlooked a friend's burgeoning blog and impending Yelp popularity.

Matty--or shall I say Dixon Rockwood--is a fantastic fellow blogger and Yelper, and is dating one of my bestests. Anyone snogging Cam has to have great balls of steel (Adamantium, even!), so you can imagine the size of his cajones. Or don't. Whatever.

For what it's worth, Matt, I love double entendres. Smash whatchu want, son, as long as you don't fart.

MyLifeIsG

2009-11-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

I told me girlfriend I loved her today.
She told me she loved me too.
We proceeded to pretend to be dinosaurs.
MLIG

Why cute is not forever.

2009-11-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul...When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good...You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”

- M. Obama

Alien toes compandres.

2009-10-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

me: ugh her short hair is fugly

Valerie: shes so fugly

me: haha

save you a seat in hell

Valerie: we are awesome

Like fried food.

2009-10-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we do things to ourselves for no reason other than because it hurts so damn good. Even when we're good and well and want for nothing.

Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.

2009-09-24T12:32:00.001-07:00

Granted this was the longest YouTube video I've ever seen, but it's also one of the best.

BE MY BABY'S DADDY!

2009-09-23T15:30:00.001-07:00

Did you know fmylife.com comes with COMICS now? There goes my already depreciating productivity. (From THIS POST.)

Senior Chang.

2009-09-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

My knowledge will bite her FACE OFF! Comprende, Starburns?

Live long and prosper.

2009-09-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

"Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML."

"Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML"

[Source: Fmylife.com]

The ones about sex fails are the best. teehee :)

Shit My Dad Says.

2009-09-16T11:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I wish my dad was around and our relationship was...copacetic.

This sentiment really only surfaces when I try and fail to ride a bike; hear about father/daughter days at work (do people still do that? It sounds like a phenomenally unsound idea); and think about Sea World. My mom and grandma have done such a bang-up job raising us -- absolutely no sarcasm implied there -- that a paternal relationship is not something I crave. They've shielded my sister and I from feeling sad and without while we were growing up, and I find it practially insulting to their parenting to seek a father figure now or ever. Still, it might have been nice.

I came across this Twitter account while perusing through my favorite blogs this morning (at work, no less) and HAD to repost. Justin Twitters, well, shit his dad says on a daily basis and it's hilarious. Some of my favorites:

"Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."

"I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."

"Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi."

"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."

"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

"Your baby dropped his binky. The binky is on the table. THE BINKY IS ON THE TABLE. BINKY ON TABLE. PICK.UP.THE.BINKY. Thank you."

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

"Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"

"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."

Pre-Labor Day Weekend.

2009-09-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

It's quite official. My imminent Bay Area trip has rendered my completely useless at work. So here I am: blogging at work. Luckily, to any passersby, it looks like I'm working on a client's blog and not slacking off. I blame the holiday. It's called Labor Day (Weekend) for a reason.

A quick recap of life since last I posted...

Dance is back in my life! Decidedly rounder than I was a mere year ago (oh, college metabolism), I've registered for a dance class at Mt. SAC, the local community college. Granted it's not the massive minfuck-orgy-lurve a dance team is, but it gets my blood moving in ways I had forgotten. I thought it was going to be disasterous, seeing how I haven't moved faster than a mindless stroll in the last year or so, but I'm glad to confirm that Debbie has indeed gotten her guh-rooove back.

I've been getting more tutoring clients (yay!) but existing clients are hesitant to give me the raise I so deserve (boo!). Through my own miscommunication, I may have lost a foothold to the snobbish wealth of Beverlywood. Oh well. I'm pretty sure my distaste of the rich (read: utter jealousy) and my ego can handle themselves just fine.

Oh, and people, don't let Facebook ruin your relationship.

How NOT to be a good listener.

2009-08-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

[Source: JD'S MAN STORIES]

From the comment section: "Amazing, the range of emotions a little silence can invoke, isn't it?"

You have no idea.

Ukulele!

2009-08-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

My ValPal's ADORABLE and crazy talented cousin, Shela. The song, the hair, the clothes, the effin' ukulele...this video is quite possibly the best thing I've seen all week.

Don't get it twisted.

2009-08-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

I am a good writer, but I'm also generally lazy and my ineptitude for timely updates is well-known. Don't get it twisted, though; I love blogging. Overall, I follow one rule to writing a sufficiently readable blog post: sit down and open an vein. And truth be known, I enjoy committing near-suicides online. I like providing a little too much TMI. To help me do that on a more regular basis, I've restarted (for the 239586th time) my blog.

I'm going to start blogging at work.

Full-time work has lent itself to moments of "I want to bludgeon myself with a nunchuck" sentiments. It is at once mindnumbing and...fulfilling? I'm not sure that is the right word, but I like waking up for a purpose. The job is not one I thought I would be holding at 24-years old (apparently, pirate queen of the free world is not a healthy nor realisic goal), but it is one that get me going in the mornings.

I'm appreciative, to say the least, because in our still failing economic time I'm lucky enough to hold a steady job. I didn't always feel this way. The other day, a thirty+ year-old Stanford graduate came in the office to apply for a nonpaying internship. If a over-qualified man has resigned to work for a 24-year old punk like me, I can at least appreciate my"dire" circumstances. Suck it up, son.

Next up on my Summer '09 movie list:

Bruises and Heartbeats.

2009-05-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

UCLA student: animal activists, film directors, overall submitters to cuteness.

Feel and wants.

2009-04-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

How I want my books displayed.

What I want to wake up to every day.

Scratch that. THIS is what I want to wake up to every day.

Pretty Little Thing.

2009-04-12T12:41:00.001-07:00

A bag of sand.

2009-04-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite romantic comedies of all time.

99 Problems.

2009-04-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

Hit me. No, really. All the "Yes, we can" chants from last November sound like whispers right now.

I found this unfoundedly funny.

KMadrid.

2009-04-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

Fuckin' A.

Feeling...

2009-03-28T21:28:00.001-07:00

The Nemcova Bikini Effect.

2009-03-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

(Fom iCPG)

The Nemcova Bikini Effect

By Tom Cunniff

If you’re a woman, new research says the picture at right will make you feel worse about yourself.

But it may also make you love my blog.

An Ad Age article cites a study by business professors at Villanova University and the College of New Jersey, inspired by Dove’s “Campaign for Real Beauty,” shows that ads featuring thin models made women feel worse about themselves but better about the brands featured.

I’ve decided to call this phenomenon “The Nemcova Bikini Effect”, after the noted Czech market research executive/swimsuit model Petra Nemcova.

On a simplistic level, it’s easy to say that marketers are harnessing self-loathing as a way to drive sales.

I think a more nuanced answer is that it’s in our DNA to seek status and advantage as a means to survival.

Good looks are a ~$160 billion a year global industry, encompassing make up, skin and hair care, fragrances, cosmetic surgery, health club and diet pills. We want brands that promise to make us look better than we actually do. Some good facts can be found here. (I love linking to a guy whose blog proudly says “Born in Nepal”. The world really is shrinking, and in a good way.)

Some highlights of the study:

--> Women in a sample of 194 college students aged 18-24 expressed more negative feelings about their sexual attractiveness, weight and physical condition after seeing thin models than before.

--> Despite the negative effect on their body image, women preferred ads showing thin models and said they were more likely to buy products featured in those ads than in ones showing “regular-size models.

--> "The really interesting result we’re seeing across multiple studies is that these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it,” said Jeremy Kees, a business professor at Villanova.

Unilever’s Campaign For Real Beauty continues. But, you have to wonder: when the campaign runs out of steam, will they turn to the Nemcova Bikini Effect to turn the business back around?

M-I-C...

2009-03-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

K-E-Y... M-O-U-S-E :)

Hellooo, Ryan Gosling!

From dlisted.com:

"Why does Ryan Gosling make my nipples stand up and my nalgas clench? This, I don't understand. Dude is borderline steamed spinach without lemon.

I mean, he looks like one of those dudes who won't call you for weeks, but then magically shows up at your door to hit that shit. You resist at first, but then the asshole flashes a "Yeah, I know how to do this" smile and before you know it, you're on board the bust nuts express. And I bet you that seconds after he pops a mess all over you, he gets up and says he needs to go have a cigarette by himself. Bitch doesn't even give you a paper towel! And then he walks outside and never comes back! A few weeks go by and the cycle repeats itself. If you see him in a bar or on the street within that time, dude probably doesn't even say hi. He just nods his head and gives you one of those cocky ass smiles that makes your genitals cry."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

SAD.

2009-03-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

(From WebMD)

What is seasonal affective disorder (SAD)?
Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter but feel much better in spring and summer, you may have SAD.

Damn it, when did this:

Turn into this?

Blocked.

2009-03-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

It's easy to be a writer. Just sit down and open a vein.

If you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm. I've been creatively blocked for quite some time now and have resorted to posting nothing original for the past few weeks. It's my current state of stasis, I'm sure. Nothing is moving forward like I expected, though I can hardly complain. In this economic climate, appreciating the little things and smelling the roses are considered luxuries. Luxuries, by the way, that I have more than enough time to which to dedicate. I just want more.

In other news, I'm healthy, have great friends, and am a whiney, self-involved bitch.

Ugh.

2009-03-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

"Makes me feel butterflies in my stomach" boyfriend.
Wacky friends. Check.
"Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" family. Check.
(Arguably) great health. Check.
Youth. Half-check.

Proof that the whole has yet to be greater than the sum of its parts.

Traffic.

2009-03-08T00:47:00.001-08:00

Big in ‘09 - Asian Guys.

2009-03-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

Big in ‘09 - Asian Guys.
February 9, 2009

I don’t believe what I’m seeing– are Asian guys actually getting their due? For the longest time, the Asian girl has justly been the sought after gender of the Asian community, which when it buckles down to it, is totally understandable and justified:

Right???

Anyway, I’ve noticed this growing trend of Asian guys as the desireable commodity in terms of interracial mixing. For the greater part of the last last century, there’s been this whole emasculation of the Asian male in mainstream westernized culture– for whatever reason, he’s seen as (for the most part) either nerdy, feminine, or a caricature of several Asian (or AzN) archetypes– racers, gamers, kung-fu masters, anime fiend, etc. etc. etc.

However, in the past couple of years, these stereotypes started to normalize. I saw Gran Torino a couple of weeks back (it was okay), and for all the racial pandering (I seriously think the movie was just an excuse for Eastwood to say all the racist shit he could think of), the caricature of the Asian male presented was seriously… dated. Eastwood had rather drab characters that didn’t “feel” current. Rather, all Gran Torino served to do was exploit Eastwood’s dated notions of racial mixing in today’s catalystically progressive America.

How did this happen? I think for one, there’s been a rather dramatic shift in the relationship between East and the West. As Eastern culture’s slowly been indoctrinating the West, there’s been a suble undercurrent of transition brewing on both ends. This is starting to manifest itself in popular culture and the media and can be seen everywhere. In essence, the Asian dude is no longer getting the short end of the stick (no pun intended). At some point, it wasn’t weird anymore to be attracted to them and this expansive train of thought is spreading like the plague. Or maybe it’s just all the PinkBerry’s popping up.

Anyway, in spite of all the broo ha ha, this is a blog about trends and pop-culture, so what I’m getting at is that Asian guys are in style this year. Think about it– the Asian male experiences the same success ($$$$) of the standardized “white male”, while retaining all the cultural roots and values that make being a “brown” person in this country worthwhile. It’s wonderful. It’s diversity. Asian girls dating white guys? I mean, it’s cool… if this was 2005. PLAYED. OUT. Jk.

Date whoever you want.

But just keep in mind, this is the new shit:

See that? She kept going back for more.
// Caspian de la Sanchez

Sweet Pea.

2009-03-05T12:54:00.001-08:00

You're the only reason I keep on coming "home."

Obnoxious Duck Masses.

2009-03-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

Photoshoot for Fullerton College 's magazine, "The Torch." Thanks to all the designers who endured traffic and hot lamps to make this a successful shoot!

The Other Duck

The Masses

Loud & Obnoxious

LSAT tutors and such.

2009-03-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

Annie. Fellow Comm Studies major/Women's Studies minor. Friend in misery and company. Lazy-eye affecionado.

Annie: i lloooove blueprint
me: you know it?
Annie: yea i took their lsat course
and my lsat teacher was so cute and freakin hilarious
me: hahahaha
Annie: seriously though
i was in love
still am
me: so you never talked to him, eh
Annie: nope
i just stared
from the back of the class
he has a lazy eye
so i was never sure if he saw that i was staring at him
but one time i was just looking and smiling
and he starting smiling back
hahahaha
which happened a lot
because i could never tell where he was looking
me: HAHAHAHA

2009-03-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

lelove

'Arry!

2009-02-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

'Arry Potter,
'Arry Potter,
'Arry Potter!

Say what you want about my fangirldom. Harry, Hermione, and Ron will always hold a special place in my heart. GTFO, Edward.